Some things can't be fixed

Well, It has been months and months since this little drama began to unfold.
My nephew still lives with me, although my brother did take legal custody back he has made no effort to contact the chlid in any way.
Fed up, I served him with papers to change the existing order.

since our last courtdate he has had zero contact with his child, has refused consent for services that were part of my nephews referrals from his in depth asessmnent, and posted threats to his ex, the baby's mom.

Cancer or no cancer I have had it.

He and looney toons mom have posted my affidavits on line, threatened my children, irrevocably damaged my oldest sons emotional wellbeing with hateful facebook bullying, scammed welfare, tried to charge me with hacking and yet have not made a single motion to speak to or see my nephew.

The poor baby is 19 months old. He has seeen his father three times in march, once in august and other than that... nothing.
Not webcam, not phonecalls, nada zilch zero.

My lovely brother moans that cancer is the reason.
But playing WOW 40 hours a week is doable.
Texting gf 100+times per day is doable
mafia wars on fb is doable

phone call to see if your child is ok? apparently not.

I hear tell, from a source (hehe) that he IS doiong chemo thank goodness. I am gratefull, truly I am.

But not impressed that he had to nearly die, literally, before he figured out he had to go with REAL doctors.

Terribly hurt by his decisions concerning his child.

Some things can't be fixed.
He will not ever be able to fix this rift between he and I. My mother is a lost cause to me-I am greiving it while simultaneously feeling relieved at having come to such a conclusion at long last...

The family is divided.

The whole thing sucks.

All kinds of ridiculous

It is all kinds of ridiculous, really.

It is ridiculous that my mother feels that it is ok for her son to abuse his child because 'the poor kid has cancer you know!!' Where is it written that if you are suffering you can make those around you that are helpless to defend themselves suffer? That having cancer trumps being responsible for one's choices?

The baby is 17 months old now. He has been living with me since my brother asked me to take the baby 'overnight' five months ago. Little one was dumped on us with only a playpen and a diaper bag of supplies. (one bottle, 25 bottle liners, grungy nipple for bottle, one sippy cup, 8 diapers, 4 wipes, 1 pj's, 2 shirts, 1 pants, 4 toys). Baby stank to high heaven of disease (brother's biopsy site was badly infected and he refused to go to the doctors. As a result the whole house smelled.) He was covered with a scaley rash, had anal fissures (Dr. had said likely due to a combination of poor nutrition and prolonged untreated constiaption), screamed in pain with every bowel movement, 'panic ate' (shoveled food into mouth fast and fuirous, often choking himself). Little one rocks frantically, freaks if you leave the room and bangs his head off the chair, walls, floor etc.

As these behaviors were noted, by myself and my husband, we did discuss taking custody. At first it seemed moot. Brother was refusing medical treatment-he was not likely to survive. I was not keen on the idea of picking a fight with my poor brother. Besides, baby was with us, we were caring for him. Little brother moved 14 hours away.

After three months, though, I did ask brother for interim custody. Hubby had to go back to work and we needed help with daycare.

The war began. Turns out that they (Brother and his girlfriend) are claiming little on on welfare-just not mentioning that little one has been living with me and that I have been the sole provider for the little one.

They (brother and loon mother) informed me that they were gonna get cancer disability to pay loon mother to watch little one. Unable to deny any longer that it was neccessary, I hired a lawyer.

While we were waiting for our request for an order to be stamped by the court my mother showed up with brother girlfriend to 'pick up the kids'.
(Girlfriend's 3 year old daughter had been left behind with Girlfriends mom. the child in question has serious medical issues and is autistic and non verbal).

I refused. I told them that there is no way they are remotely considering the baby's best interests. He had not seen them or even heard their voices in four months. And they propose to have a coffee and drag him off. We had also spent those months teaching the little one that he was safe and secure with us, to not panic eat, to not bang his head. We worked very hard and diligently to create a feeling of security and safety for him. Uprooting him to go with virtual strangers was not a good plan.

They served me. At the hearing, the judge read my affidavit (I listed the dates of abandonment, the anal fissures, the panic eating, the child's physical state now as compared to in Feb, the child's emotional state, the head banging, the biting. I also tattled about the face flicking (to get baby to shut up-both mom and girlfriend had told me of) and the leaving the child in crib screaming for hours when not feeling like dealing with him. i listed off the professionals that were involved with David. (Doctor, mental health, Child develpment Centre, MOCFD) and that they would also back up my affidavit. I mentioned the website, my journal and the back and forth book for sitter.

The judge granted me joint custody, with myself being the primary caregiver but (and here is the rub) I have to pay to have all the adults in my home and brother's home to be assessed with an mmpi. (This costs roughly one grand per person. Three adults in brother's home, two in mine.....) Plus I have the dubious honour of having to take little one to my brother's home for their part of ths asessment. Bear in mind that he moved 14 hours driving away. The trip will cost well over a grand.

This is all great, on my $17/hour income with now three children in the home I am sure we are rolling in cash these days. Add to this that my youngest child is autistic and requires all sorts of expensive interventions in order to assist him in being able to meet his amazing potential...well we are fast headed into debt.

I have been fundraising, but lets face it. I live in a rural area that is 1200 ppl strong. Can only expect so much.

I have taken a three grand loan from exhubby and 2 grand from boss to cover lawyer retainer. I have taken a five grand loan from loan shark.

Likely will loose my house.

Stress? not here!

Aside from $$, we can also look at the dyanmics of this absurd drama. My mother hates me, has posted bullying things on that damn facebook mostly hurtful to my oldest child (her first grandchhild). My one sister won't talk to me at all. My brother feels attacked (he is not capable of understanding that what he does is neglect and abuse. He feels I am jsut picking on him). My grandparents disowned me.

The whole family is taking sides. My children are feeling hurt that their uncle, aunti and gramma are being rude to them. My husband and my health reflects the stress (he has full body pains at a debilitating level and I am now the proud owner of an ulcer).

All this why?
Because my mother, in all her amazing wisdom, decided to deny that brother needed any help or has any issues.
Because my mother, in a demonstration of selfless love, convinced my brother that real medicine will kill him and that only she can cure him.
Because my mother, out of guit perhaps? decided that whatever her son needs he shall have, regardless of the damage it may cause his baby.

Because my mother and my brother feel that cancer makes it ok to defraud the government. That it is ok to try and keep the $$ even if that means wrecking the child...

Its absurd. The difficulty we are having in doing the right thing is ridiculous. We have gone from a calm peaceful family with small debt and modest lifestyle, to a stressed out family with huge debt and no life.

It hurts. I look at this little one, in those moments of feeling oh so tired and oh so sorry for myself, and I hear my mother's voice.

"Sometimes making the right choice hurts-it can be so hard! But that is what makes us good people-making the right choice even though its hard and hurts and no one is helping or even grateful. That is called having morals."

Ridiculous, that her words comfort me now as her actions destroy my world...

PS Brother panicked and went to the hospital. He is now on his third dose of chemotherapy. He tells me (not sure I am buying) that one or two more and it will never come back. He has T Cell Non Hodkin's lymphoma.

PPS Mother got kicked out of the hospital when brother was going for chemo. Guess she caused a ruckus about toxins and such.

Just another day in Drama Land

Well, brother tells me he IS getting treatment. 1.5 hours of chemo in the Kelowna hospital and he goes back in 21 days.
I guess time will tell if he is full of (cough)..

Meanwhile, I have the little one, Brother still refuses to even write a letter saying that he has asked me to mind the child until future notice. Then loony mother got in there, decided that she is coming to get the little one.

So...
I filed an order with the courts. I am going after custody.

I simply cannot allow them to take the little one. BAby shows some serious signs of neglect, emotional trauma and requires regular visits with the DR.
Sighh...

Cancer and Denial= passive suicide

I have had to face the horrific truth that my brother is going to die.

He is gong to die after a prolonged suffering, from a treatable disease.

He has lymphoma. At this point we do not know if it is or isn't hodgkins as he has refused to do any further testing. The sum of all the medical intervention he has allowed is the biopsy that he feels 'gave' him the cancer.

He has made so many horrific choices and while I try so very hard to be understanding of the amazing stress he is under both physically and emotionally I am devastated.

At first I did understand. With wooful Mom chanting the typical nonsense (evil doctors, big conspiracy, it's all about profit, herbs, naturpaths, toxins, fungus blah blah) I was not completely surprised when my brother chose to follow her beliefs rather than the advice of his doctor.

My brother has some sort of developmental delay-resulting in his functioning maturity being much less than his 21 years of age. He is also the baby of the family while mom is quite the dominating personality.

I had assumed though, that as this progressed, both Mom and brother would choose for him to live rather than choose to prove that alt medicine works.

I assumed wrong.

Mom started by claiming that his cancer was a fungus and that she could cure him with vitamins. She went on to amaze us with her wooful tendencies by hiring an 'applied kinesiologist' or whatever. She ordered HS online. She placed brother on an organic only diet. She pumped him full of vitamins.

All this she did in a four day stretch then she bailed back to 'camp'. (Her work requires her to be out of town in 'camps' for long stretches of time. Decent money). She had to pile on the hours as these alternative treatments are horribly expensive.

The doctor had booked brother in for a PET scan and bone biopsies and consultation with an oncologist. We are very rural, so this all had to be booked together-it is a 14 hour drive to the nearest oncologist. My brother was fine with the appointment until he heard about the bone biopsy.

This turned into a drama about the doctor being dishonest, wanting to make money off of him, trying to use extra 'useless' tests on him because he is young, etc. I heard terms like 'cash cow' and 'big pharma'.

Several people, my self included, tried to share information with brother. I printed off a booklet on lymphoma-from what it is to it's stages and the various treatments. Brother refused all, stating that 'mom was doing my research'.

As the month wore on, brother began to get very ill. Night sweats, extreme and rapid weight loss, nausea, lack of appetite. He became weak and lethargic. The lump under his arm (partly from biopsy maybe?) became large and swollen looking. It emitted an odor of infection.

When Mom returned from camp she was more than slightly appalled. We all hoped that she would encourage him to go to the doctor, and she did.

She even went with him.

Her party line changed from "I can cure him with vitamins" to "the vitamins have helped his body to be strong enough to withstand treatment".

The doctor again booked appointments.

But by the time he called to let them know when and where, brother had improved. (He was a wee bit stronger, holding food down) and they had decided that the herbs and vitamins were working.

Mom went back to camp.

Brothers health remained shakey. At one point he told me that he was just waiting for his social worker to pay for his trip to the oncologist. My boss volunteered to pay it and the story changed to 'oh after I move'.

Brother decided he needed to move south where he just 'loves to be' and where it is 'so much closer' to all these appointments that he refused to go to.

The move would be a 12 hour drive, costing more money than anyone had. They ended up renting a UHaul trailer, selling all their non essential belongings and moving.

I was told that as soon as they unpacked so that brothers g/f had a place for her child, mom and brother were headed to DR appt's and localized radiation treatments.

brother had started mouthing off to mom about the vitamins, refusing to pay any of his own money for the alternative treatments. I had wondered at the time if he as trying to get her permission to see the doctor.

I volunteered to keep the baby until after all these appointments were done. (at this point I had the baby living with me for 2 months). Brother refused. He still did not pick up his child or even ask to visit with him, but he verbally refused to consider leaving the child with us when he moved.

The night of the move I helped load the trailer. As they were getting into the car to leave, brother ripped the car seat out of mom's car and stuffed it in my van. He was holding back tears as he said "Keep the baby. There is no room for him anyways".

I struggled with my own riot of emotions. I was so relieved-I was beyond worried for the little one. Yet I was furious that he was making this a last minute decision-and to top it all he had packed the baby's bed and toys etc into the trailer before the beds-so I was going to have to find the funds to furnish my home for a toddler from scratch.

Mom was angry with him, but I am still unclear as to what part had her more furious. That he was not taking his son, or that the move was depleting her finances.

In the meantime, I have a toddler I did not give birth to. (No bashing needed thanks. We love our nephew and love having him. However it hurts my heart that his mother ditched him all those months ago so that she can drink, do meth and sleep around-and now my own brother can not be bothered to stand up to our mother, see a doctor and treat this highly treatable cancer. What am I going to tell this adorable young man when he is older?). Mother continues to berate my husband and I (and my sister and her husband) for not 'contributing' financially. Oh, she doesn't come out and say it but she certainly has made herself clear.

(To my sister) 'You are having a BBQ? How nice. It really must be nice....I would love to be doing such wonderful things but I am headed off to teh soup kitchen myself. No BBQ here!' (This was not two hours after she told me that they had just spent 300 bucks on groceries.)

We refuse to help with these alt meds. They don't work, they are not working, and he is not doing well. I refuse to help these con artist 'practitioners' to become wealthy at my brother's expense.

I was recently uplifted when my brother's gf told me that he had apptmts in vancouver for the end of may. But my youngest sister informed me that this is a conference they are attending, not a doctor.

Whatever.

When he dies, I am going to try to take down each of his 'alternative' practioners legally. My brother's medical doctor is considering helping with what will likely become a life long obsession for me.

Other than that I am just raising my nephew, praying that the courts will allow me to retain custody once my brother passes. (He refuses to sign anything as he feels that this is bringing 'negative' energy into his life).

Baby is with me...

Well, Mommy Woo and Brother are moving south, but baby stays with me.

Hubby and I are shocked-we did not expect such a reasonable choice. But while sad for the whole situation, we are also relieved. At least baby will be stable, cared for, nutured and given steady attention.

Just hope, pray to gods I am not sure i even believe in, that they get him real treatment...fast.

Curing Cancer, magical thinking and grief.

Yesterday mom accused me of researching cancer with confirmation bias. (Of course, that is not exactly how she put it. Her words were "I don't care what you researched or found. If you did find anything that backs me up you wouldn't admit it-even IF your thickheaded skull let you actually take in the information!" Still, I had to stop and think about it.

I realize I, the skeptic of the family, am more likely to run my google searches like this:

But does that mean that I am only seeking to confirm my own bias?

Perhaps..

I have researched lymphoma. (Both NHL and Hodgkins as w do not know which form of lymphoma my brother has.)
These are the URLS I started with:
www.lymphoma.ca/default.htm
http://www.cancer.ca
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/treatment/adulthodgkins/Patient/page2
www.cancer.ca

(found by searching google.ca "Canada Cancer Resources" and "Lymphoma")


The moment they received the diagnosis, Mom insisted that the only test they were going to do was a PET Scan, as it uses no radiations or 'toxins'.

So I went here:
http://www.petscan.ca/

(found by searching google.ca "cancer petscan")

Now, interestingly enough, if one clicks on :How PET Works: one gets this:
"The patient is injected intravenously with a small amount of sugar labeled with radiotracer."

Now At this point I can only guess that the word 'sugar' was the last word my mother read when she looked up PET SCANS (or is that IF she bothered to look it up..?)

Then dear Mom proceeded to demand of the technician for answers concerning 'Dr. Joseph Gold and his Hydrazine Sulphate' and 'Vitamin Mega Therapy' and 'Holistic Healing'.

The poor tech could barely wait to escape-he bolted within moments of Princess Warrior of Woo (aka Mom) brandishing her sword of magical thinking.

Mom began to forward me the most amazing assortment of URLS. My favorites are:

www.heall.com/medicalfreedom/hydrazinesulphate.html
www.hydrazinesulfate.org/

Now I dug through these websites. The first is so obviously quacked. No citations, no verifiable information.
At least one prominent researcher has called it the "single most effective anticancer agent available
Note that the researcher is not named. Nor does this website say where or to whom did this anonymous researcher state this.

The website goes on and on, ranting about the conspiracy, the cover up, quotes the DR Gold himself yet provides no research, no data, no verifiable sources.

The second link I find interesting as the subject line in the email that my mother sent me is:
"Hard to find, as FDA makes him move his sight repeatedly"
Yet, top of the webpage shows a date of :
"July 14 , 2004
Last amended: May 28, 2009 "

Dr Gold states:
"First and foremost, it is important for you to know that, contrary to implications made on the Internet, clinical trials of hydrazine sulfate have been done and published in peer-reviewed medical journals which circulate worldwide"
I searched some of the cited studies on pubmed, but as I lack a degree in biology, chemistry or any science I was struggling hard.

I did note that in Brown et all 1966 "HS caused genetic mutations in normal cells"and "used in animals over the long term, HS should be considered potentially carcinogenic" (Brown et al. Biochem Biophys Res Comm. 1966; 24: 967. 14. 15)

I read some of the reviews on the studies quoted. Most reviews found that HS studies had not shown an effectiveness against cancer cachexia and in fact was linked to serious side effects.

Question:
I note that DR J Gold's websites, abstract etc do not in fact state that he 'cured cancer' but rather that HS is effective against cancer cachexia. Am I correct in believing that this refers to the 'wasting sickness' that is prevalent with cancer patients?

I shared my finding with my mother but I do not think she read them.

Then, when the doctors told them (Mother and Brother) that brother would also be doing bone
Biopsies while in the hospital getting the PET Scan done, they fled the dr's office.

Now they were going to do vitamin mega therapy and organic food.
At this point my inability to be supportive of refusing medical treatment for lymphoma put me in a position
of only getting tidbits of updates.

"Dont worry, we are using mega vitamins to get brother healthy enough to withstand radiation."

A half hearted search turned up many warnings against mega dosing on vitamins. I also noted that organic food
will mean less money, but not really harm him.. I hope.

My greatest concern at this point is that they both were displaying a sense of magical thinking.

"We can do this alternative stuff, we have lots of time"

Yet no tests have been done. They do NOT know that they have 'lots of time' to mess around. They do not know IF brother has NHL, if the cancerous tumor is ALL that is going on. Likely there is another area that is cancerous. How far along is his cancer? Is he stage one?

Symptoms:'

Dramatic weight loss

Tumor large enough to measure with bare hands

night sweats

nausea.

headaches

A few weeks ago, when my mother returned from her out of town employment and saw her youngest son, she changed her tune. He looks absolutely awful. She immediately drug him to his doctor. They agreed to go for the scan and biopsies.

Then she left again.

When I queried as to the status of his appointments, my brother informed me that they were merely waiting for funding to fly him to the hospital.

So I arranged, with the doctors help, to fund his ticket and travel expenses.

My brother then informed me that he cant go, as the radiation will induce weight loss and that he fears further weight loss might kill him.

I informed him that lymphoma, when untreated, will kill him. Weight loss at this point is moot.

He then informed me he needs to move 14 hours south first, before going to the hospital.

I have had to accept the obvious. My brother is NOT going to get treatment until it is likely too late. He WILL always have an excuse as to why he cannot go to the hospital.

At 21 years of age (22 if he makes it through summer), my brother has given up on living.

Not even for his toddler son, whom he is the sole provider for, will he consider seeking treatment.

He and my mother are bound and determined that they will cure him with 'positive thinking' 'vitamin therapy' and 'applied kineisiology'.

It breaks my heart.

And how, I ask-how in the hell will I be able to even speak to my mother after my brother dies? How can I let go of the belief that she encouraged, bullied and brainwashed him into CAM, into believing that doctors are out to get him...

Update from Woo Hell

First Irony:

My home page quote of the day was:

"Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones.

- Bertrand Russell"

I have now had my brother's baby for 6 weeks (less three and 1/2 days).

My brother has, thus far, refused any and all standard, mainstream medical treatment.

I spent a week bullying my brother for the baby's healthcare card. (Keep in mind he still wont let me take the crib.) The trouble is that the little one is screaming his head off with each and every bowel movement. I noticed what appears to be a small anal tear when I changed his diaper. He also has not seen a doctor since he was 6 weeks old.

Finally, last night, my brother relented. (I shamelessly bribed him with a ride). So this morning we headed off to the local clinic with the baby and his health care card.

Interestingly enough the doctor we saw at walk in also happens to be my brother's doctor.

He had many questions for me-he was very concerned with my brothers well being. The oncologist has been trying to set up appointments for my brother. I shared what my brother had told me (that he cant go until his social worker arranges for his plane ticket to get there).

I told the doctor I will pay. Just get him to agree to go. It sounds to me as if the doctor has been calling, and his calls are being ignored.

The kind doctor looked at David. He explained the tearing is from being constipated, and will take some time to heal. He prescribed a topical cream that will relax the anal muscles, numb the area and allow it to heal-as well as a medicine to soften the babies stool (not a laxative).

We reassured him that yes, we were feeding the baby properly at our home.

I get home and call my brother and let him know what the dr says. He says to go ahead and get the prescriptions. (Gee thanks bro, would have done that anyways). I tell him that his trip is all set, but that he needs to let his doctor know that he is going to GO.

He says he needs to know that the treatment wont make him loose anymore weight-he is pretty sure he wont survive if he looses any more weight. I point out that the cancer will kill him faster than weight loss. He ignores me and continues on about how much weight he has lost and blah blah.

At this point, I just gave up. There will always be an excuse. There will always be a reason why he wont get help.

He then asks me to keep the baby for a few more days. (still no crib)

I think I am going to have to go to court and keep the baby.

Batshit Crazy

Yes, I stole the term. Deal with it.

In yet another demonstration of delusion Here are some statements made by GrammaY and brother:

'A couple weeks to think about it cant hurt" (ummmm.... malignant cancer. yes it can hurt)
'If I hadnt of gotten that Biopsy I wouldnt have cancer now' (omfg, you are kidding me right?)
'The doctor is hiding something. They wouldnt explain why lthey ordered those tests. They are hiding something from me' (I asked what exactly they were hiding, got 'the look' and..) 'If I knew what it was I would not have asked them.' (gee stupid me. )
'I dont care what the doctor says, my aura doesnt show cancer'
'They cant refuse to do tests for me later-its their job!' (ten minutes later) 'If you dont do the things your doctor wants they wont do anything for you' (five minutes later) 'Doctors only send ppl for tests to make money' (15 minutes later) "They wont let me do those tests because they are too costly"

Sigh
wonder if I can have grammay and brother declared unfit ...

It's not cancer! Its a fungus! wtf

Jaybob has had this lump under his arm since June. It started as a scratch...he thinks. He did see a doctor about it and was given anti-fungal cream. He has been the clinic a few times (about this and other things), but never to the same doctor. And only the good lord knows if Jaybob bothered to tell each doctor that he had been seen previously for the same thing.

GrammaY had finally had it and insisted on going to the doctors with Jaybob. She demanded that the doctor figure out what the heck was going on. She also made sure that the doctor knew of all Jaybob's health worries, not just one thing. If nothing else, GrammaY is very determined when it comes to having her way.

The result was a referral to a specialist within a day, followed by surgery booked for the following week. It was determined that a biopsy was necessary. This is the conversation between myself and GrammaY after the results were in. (some parts of this conversation may be from ensuing discussions with GrammaY, all of it, however, is truly what came out of her mouth)

Marcie: "Are Jaybob's biopsy results in yet?"

GrammaY "Yup, but I don't believe it".

Marcie: "Umm, you dont believe the biopsy results themselves?"

GrammaY "That is exactly it, dear. Damn doctor says Cancer. Apparently such a strange and unusual cancer that they cant even tell us what kind. "

Marcie: "CANCER?? oh no... So what happens now?"

Gramma Y "Well we both know that it isnt cancer. I can't explain how I know, Marcie, but i just KNOW that this is fungal. They never should have done the biopsy without clearing up that fungus first... Now they have forced that fungus inside poor Jaybob."

Marcie (not impressed, but trying for patience) "Mum, what else did the dr say?"

GrammaY "Well, that damn doctor let me tell you what. When he told us that the biopsy came back as malignant cancer I asked him if he knew anything about Hydrazine Sulfate. That man began to hop around all crazy, wouldnt make eye contact at all!"

Marcie (not out loud) Gee, good job mum, make sure the doctor knows you are a loon in the first appointment.....

GrammaY "I asked again if he knew anything at all and he stammered and hawwed. Told us he is just a tecnologist and knows nothing."

Marcie "Great mum, but what kind of cancer? What are the next steps? How aggressive is it? Is it operable? Treatable? what?"

GrammaY "You are not listening! It is a fungus. I am gonna call Blair and see what she thinks.."

Marcie (Mumbling) 'oh great, call the blairwitch'

GrammaY "What?"

Marcie, sighing, "Mum, call Blair, but first, what else did the doctor say?"

GrammaY "The doctor doesnt know anything. HE says that when you have a tumor it has to have a primary source. Jaybob's chest xray is clear. The biopsy tells them it aint lymph cancer. His blood tests clean. They dont know what the primary source is."

Marcie "ok, so what now?"

GrammaY "Well they want to run more tests. "

Marcie "What tests? When? Where?"

GrammaY "Well it dont matter! Jaybob doesnt want anymore tests when this last biopsy gave him cancer!"

Marcie "Huh?"

GrammaY "Well he sure as hell didnt have Cancer before!"

Marcie knows better than to touch this one, and is praying that GrammaY is merely reacting to the stress of finding out her youngest child has a dreaded disease. Marcie takes a large deeeeep breath.

Marcie "Mum... What are you going to do then?"

GrammaY "Well, I know you are thinking I am a nut, and that you think all herbs are a waste of time. But i am going to get him on vitamins, and a healthy diet so that his body is strong enough for all the toxins the doctors are going to want to fill him up with."

Marcie "Getting him healthier is a good plan, but"

GrammaY "Let me finish! Jaybob trusts me to fix this, and I will!"

Marcie "Fix it!! Mum......"

GrammaY "I know, crazy mum and her herbs, but if he had listened to me a year ago and took teh viatmins I told him to take, he wouldnt have this cancer now?"

Marcie (Forgetting to hold back) "Thought you said it wasnt cancer? that its a fungus?"

GrammaY "It is, it's a fungus that caused this cancer. Cancer is just toxins."

Marcie : "No mum, cancer is not toxins. Toxins are toxins. Cancer is the blanket term for -"

GrammaY : "Don't smart mouth me. This is serious!"

Marcie: "Yes, it is. You can NOT be getting him to ignore the doctors and just take herbs, mum. This is not a mild fever. You can NOT mess with this.:"

GrammaY "I'm not stupid. I am merely going to do things that will work WITH the doctor. Eating healthy and taking vitamins wont kill him."

Sigh....




Later, when the news is in that Jaybob is going for a petscan

Marcie "Well thank goodness they are not stalling. So he goes in three days?"

GrammaY "yes, we are very excited."

Marcie "So what exactly will happen?"

GrammaY "The scan will show exactly where all the cancer is. Then if it is in the lymph nodes they can just radiate that area."

Marcie "Wonderful."



Later the next day

GrammaY "Now he is not going till next week"

Marcie "Why not?"

GrammaY "They are trying to arrange the funding.:"

Marcie : "Funding for what? the flight? I can help with that."

GrammaY "no, because he is on assistance they dont want him to have the scan"

Marcie " That doesnt sound right to me"

GrammaY "They decided that they want him to have bone biopsies done first"

Marcie "why?"

GrammaY "I was talking to Blair."

Marcie "Huh?" (Blair is a kinesiologist or w/e. She grinds her own herbs and does food allergy testing by getting you to hold things in your hand.)

GrammaY "Telling her about this petscan and all that. She says she can do the same thing, way less wait and money. She can tell where the cancer is. And she said it's from all that rough emotional times he had."

Marcie "Huh? Has she even met Jaybob?"

GrammaY "I know you don't believe."

Sigh....
Marcie "What does that have to do with the biopsies?"

GrammaY "dont get me started. Damn doctor telling me that he scheduled three bone biopsie to be done before the scan. He figures because Jaybob is so young that they will be able to milk this for all its worth. He also says that because Jaybob is so young that they will keep him in the hospital down there."

Marcie "Mum.... What reason for the biopsies?"

GrammaY "they dont have one."

Marcie "I don't understand teh reference to milking it, or to jaybob's young age"


(Insert random babbling that GrammaY did at this point. A few 'facts' that she decided answered my comment....
-90% of cancer patients die.
-only 60% of cancer patients that use both mainstream medicine and alternative medicine die
-of those less die that use only herbal thanm die that use only mainstream
-bone biopsies help the doctors make money
-doctors care that he is on assistance. They dont want to help him
-Jaybob is not scared to die.
-Jaybob refuses to have bone marrow biopsies done.
-Cancer is caused by toxins and mental stress
-if we can cure the fungus we wont have cancer
-it wont hurt for Jaybob to take a cpl weeks to think about things
-we will just continue to build up his system
-grammaY can cure this
-grammaY yelled at the doctors
-GrammaY is pissed at me, Marcie, because when I had my cancer scare I did not come running to her for quack treatment and instead listened to my doctor **note that this was 7 years ago and I am still showing no signs of cancer**
-end insert of random babbling)

I did try to point out that in Canada, doctors do not get rich by letting more tests be done, or less tests be done. I also pointed out that until these tests are done, and the doctors can determine what KIND of cancer Jaybob has, how aggressive it is, we can NOT know that two weeks before beginning treatment is not an issue. That Jaybob could indeed be DEAD in two weeks if this cancer is aggressive.

She doesnt hear me.

She insists that this is Jaybob's choice to make. (As if Jaybob has ever made a decision that wasnt hand fed him by his mum).

She refuses to listen that Bone Marrow Biops actually give the doctors all sorts of information.

She is determined that they just want to experiement on Jaybob.

She makes many comments that seem to indicate that this is more about her being able to play doctor than it is about worrying about Jaybob.

She went from the doctors doing unnessary tests, to teh doctors not bothering to tell Jaybob about the tests, to them refusing to do the tests because of money.

....

Today Jaybob informed me that the doctors are hiding something. That they wont tell him why they won't do the petscan, why they wanted the bone marrow biopsies, why they tried to book such tests without even bothering to discuss it.

We, Scott and I, tried to reason with him. We tried to reason with her.

GrammaY-we do love her...

GrammaY is a google scholar. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that she is a selective google scholar.

GrammaY gets an idea in her pretty head. Then GrammaY gets ahold of Google Search.

Suddenly GrammaY is an undisputed expert in all fields concerning the aforementioned pretty idea. She is inflicted with Google Scholaritis upon where no information that contradicts with her Goggleized opinion can be heard, read, understood or even tolerated.

Now, GrammaY has been this way for many years. For the most part her passionate beliefs are amusing. Sometimes however they are downright dangerous.

Amusing when she changes her daily life because of a hoax email, or jumps on the latest religous fad bandwagon.

Not so entertaining when she encourages someone to not follow their doctors advice of chemotherapy and instead take some illegally purchased 'prescriptions' such as Hydrazine Sulfate

How does one help such a person to the path of sanity and logic? How?

Introductions

the whole point of this blog is the hopes that if I vent about it, perhaps I can keep smiling.

Meet the family:

Marcie: This is me. I am mouthy as all hell (except to my mom). A great imagination yet I have no patience for the ridiculous. You want to tell me something out there? Best be ready to back it up.

Scott: My husband. Very quiet-if he bothers to speak up you had best pay attention. Also not fond of conspiracies, lies etc.

Bratlings: BratlingB is the boy, BratlingG is the girl. My wonderful still at home children.

NotQuite: My oldest child who is out of the house but not quite cutting it as an independant being

Mr.Idiot: This is the ex. Bratlings sperm donor.

GrammaY: My mom. She is a complete wingnut but we love her.

Jaybob: My youngest brother who still lives at home.

Celine: My older sister.

Judith: My younger sister.

Granny: my psycho grandmother
Gramps: Her husband

I reserve4 the right to introduce any other family members as we go along.